My wife is the owner of Perfectly Placed, an organizing company which helps people declutter and organize their homes. On occasion, I have worked with her organizing kitchens, basements, and closets. Through that experience I’ve learned that getting rid of things is more difficult than you might expect.
Letting go of clutter, whether is is old clothes or children’s toys, can be an emotional experience for many of her clients. For others, it is only half the battle. Cutting back on shopping and ordering more stuff is just as challenging. As my wife says, “To get rid of clutter, the ratio of items going out of your home needs to be greater than what comes in.”
While someone might joke, “I’m a shopaholic,” for others compulsive shopping is negatively impacts finances, relationships, and self-esteem. Because my wife and I have witnessed these struggles with clients firsthand, we have teamed up to help those who want to change their shopping patterns through coaching and organizing services.
Do you think you might be a compulsive shopper? Here are 5 signs that you may have a problem:
1. You Have Many Unused or Unopened Items
While decluttering someone’s closet my wife frequently finds clothes with price tags still attached. Because the pleasure comes from anticipating the purchase, you may never get around to actually using the items. You have good intentions to return it, but you never take it to the store. Besides, returning an item is less likely to release dopamine in the brain and isn’t nearly as enjoyable.
2. Your Storage Space is Overflowing
Some of Susan’s clients no longer host out-of-town guests because their spare room is overflowing with items they have purchased. When you buy more than you need, purchased items will take over your cabinets, closets and storage spaces in your home. This is complicated by buying multiple copies of the same items such as 12 bottles of the same shampoo or a dozen sets of bed sheets for just one bed. This is often the result of impulsively buying too much because the items were on sale and you couldn’t resist the “deal.”
My wife and I worked with a client who was using a spare bedroom for a closet. Even though he is single, he ran out of room for his shoes, clothes, and sports gear. Financially this wasn’t causing stress because he was wealthy, but the excess items are a burden to manage. Additionally, he only uses 20% of what he owns while the rest sit collecting dust.
3. You Can’t Control Your Spending
If you buy things you don’t need or stay up late at night scanning shopping websites, you may be struggling with excessive shopping. This indicates a part of your brain is hooked on the shopping experience and is overriding your desire to be more financially responsible (or get some sleep!). If you have tried to stop overshopping, but you keep getting overdraft notices from your bank, it may be time to seek help.
4. Financial Distress
Related to the feeling that you can’t control your spending is the financial stress that comes from buying items you don’t need. This can be overdraft fees, credit card debt, hiding your spending from a spouse or partner, or simply the loss of income that you have spent on unused items.
5. Your Enjoyment of the Purchase is Short-Lived
The dopamine rush happens quickly and immediately, but it does not last. You buy the item and, by the time you get home from the store, the feelings of pleasure have worn off. When we purchase items for the short-term pleasure rather than the long-term enjoyment of something we love and use, we experience regret, self-doubt and “buyer’s remorse.”
I Can’t Stop Thinking About Shopping
So what is happening in the brain when someone feels compelled to overshop? A lot of it has to do with dopamine.
Research has shown anticipating the purchase of an item causes our brains to release dopamine, the chemical responsible for feelings of pleasure. Susan Weinschenk, Ph.D. writes, “Many people think that dopamine is released when the brain receives a reward, but dopamine is actually released in anticipation of a reward.”
In fact, thinking intensely about a behavior changes our brain’s structure, even if we don’t actually do the behavior. In other words, daydreaming about shopping not only makes you feel better, but will make your compulsions stronger. Compulsive shopping (or gambling, drinking, and eating) are reinforced in our brains simply through planning ahead and fantasying about the purchase.
This anticipation is reinforced many times over in the course of online shopping. Each time one of the following actions takes place, we may experience a dopamine rush:
- Seeing something we would like to buy
- Clicking on the image to learn more
- Adding the item to the cart
- Finalizing the order by clicking the Checkout button
- Tracking the item’s shipping progress
- Seeing the box arrive and opening it
- You Have Lots of Unused or Unopened Items
Your problem with spending and shopping does not mean you are a failure. It’s not something to be ashamed about. It simply means that your brain has adapted a way to deal with stress, anxiety or other unpleasant emotions.
Rewiring Your Brain
The good news is that changes can be made and it’s possible to get control of your spending. Through coaching and counseling, or by joining a group for compulsive behaviors which uses the 5 steps of URGE911.com, you can make changes and regain a sense of self-control. Also, working with a professional organizer can help restore some boundaries (and clear countertops) to your life.
I’m excited to announce that, in partnership with Perfectly Placed Organization and Design, we are now offering coaching for those who need help overcoming compulsive buying. With her team of organizers and my coaching we will address both the environmental and emotional factors in overshopping.
If you are ready to discuss coaching or counseling contact me at travis@wtravisstewart.com.
References:
Weinschenk, S. (2015, October 22). Shopping, Dopamine, and Anticipation. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brain-wise/201510/shopping-dopamine-and-anticipation
Begley, S. (2007, January 19). The Brain: How The Brain Rewires Itself. Retrieved from http://content.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1580438,00.html
