Help for Compulsive Shopping

 What is Compulsive Shopping?

Although compulsive shopping (or sometimes called shopping addiction) is not yet an official diagnosis in the eyes of the American Psychiatric Association it is gaining more attention from those in the mental health world. April Lane Benson, Ph.D., says shopping becomes a problem when “patterns of shopping and spending damage their relationships, their self-esteem, and their finances.” She goes identifies at least three types of problematic shopping behaviors:

1. Daily overshopping
2. Binge shopping
3. Collectors

Researchers at Bergen University have created The Bergen Shopping Addiction Scale. If someone shows four out of the seven of the following behaviors, they likely have a shopping addiction:

1. Obsessing about shopping all the time
2. Shopping to improve one’s mood
3. Buying more items to feel the same satisfaction as before
4. Buying so much one cannot fill daily responsibilities such as school
5. Buying so much it has affected one’s well-being
6. Being unable to cut back on shopping, even if one wishes to do so
7. Feeling bad if one cannot shop

It can be helpful to break down the factors which drive compulsive buying into two main categories; the emotional and the neurological. Or, the heart and the brain.

The Emotional Drive to Buy Things You Don’t Need

In my experience working with compulsive behaviors such as eating disorders and shopping addiction, there is an emotional drive fueling the behavior. In other words, we do behaviors which not only meet physical needs but create an emotional state of mind as well.

April Benson has clients ask several questions to help them understand the “why” behind their behavior:

1. Do you overshop to feel better about yourself or more secure?
2. Do you overshop to avoid dealing with something important?
3. Do you use shopping as a weapon, to express anger, or seek revenge?
4. Do you overshop to hold on to love?
5. Do you overshop to soothe yourself or repair your mood?
6. Do you overshop to project an image of wealth and power?
7. Do you overshop to fit into an appearance-obsessed society?
8. Do you overshop in response to stress, loss or trauma?
9. Do you overshop because it’s the lesser evil (compared to another addictive behavior)?
10. Do you overshop to feel more in control?
11. Do you overshop to find meaning in your life or to deny death?

These are fascinating questions. You can easily see that she has come to the conclusion that those who struggle with compulsive shopping behaviors do so not because they are simply materialistic, but because they are trying to meet deep, legitimate emotional needs.

The Brain Hooked on Shopping

Once the behavior of shopping and buying to calm nerves or create a preferred emotional sensation, the brain will learn to crave the behavior again and again. This is the basis of all process addictions. Our brains are powerful and reliable learning machines. Through repetition we create neuropathways in the brain so that habits form and we don’t have to relearn how to brush our teeth or remind ourselves to do other daily tasks. When we do this with comforting or powerful behaviors such as eating, gambling, or shopping, these pathways become deep and difficult to resist when triggered.

What may be most fascinating about this is that the dopamine (the pleasure chemical) may be released more in the anticipation of the behavior than during the actual behavior itself.

“You see the shoes and get this burst of dopamine,” says Dr. Berns. Dopamine, he says, “motivates you to seal the deal and buy them. It’s like a fuel injector for action, but once they’re bought it’s almost a let down.”

Gregory Berns, Ph.D., Emory University

The Impact of Compulsive Shopping

I first became interested in working with compulsive shopping clients through conversations with my wife, a professional organizer. She often works with families who have entire basements full of toys which their kids never use, closets full of hundreds of pairs of shoes, or cabinets overflowing with dozens of bottles of lotion. These problems impacted their ability to enjoy their purchases, control their spending, or even give meaningful gifts. In one family she worked with kids’ toys littered nearly every room in the house. The source of the problem? A grandmother who continued to buy gifts despite her daughter’s protests. Other consequences caused by overshopping include:

• Wasted time
• Financial stress
• Mounting debt
• Stressed marriages and relationships
• Distraction from work
• Lack of enjoyment in what you buy

Partnering with a Professional Organizer

A professional organizer is often the first person to confront someone with their compulsion to shop. They are also a powerful ally in the process of making changes. In partnership with my wife and Perfectly Placed Organization and Design, we address the emotional and environmental components of overshopping. This means setting boundaries for how many products you can buy, sorting and organizing the things you already have, and creating systems which help prevent future problematic behavior.

My Counseling & Coaching Approach 

In working with clients with compulsive screen behaviors I rely on several principles to understand and guide progress.

Understanding brain-based urges is part of my approach which involves educating clients on what is happening in the brain when we experience urges and compulsive behaviors. I incorporate this with the five steps of my URGE911 tools which I developed based on the work of Jeffrey Schwartz, MD of UCLA. I use the URGE911.com tool to help clients rewire the brain and make urges more manageable.

Exploring your unique story and the circumstances surrounding the development of the problematic behavior is just as important and rewiring the brain. 

Uncovering the function of the behavior is important to development to coping skills and create new behaviors. The overuse of the internet, phone or video games does not develop in a vacuum. These behaviors serve a function to help you escape, experience competence or meet some other legitimate need. 

If you are ready to make changes and would like to talk to me, I can be contacted at travis@wtravisstewart.com.

More: Read 5 Signs You Might Be a Compulsive Shopper

References

1. Benson, A. L. (2009). To buy or not to buy: why we overshop and how to stop. Boston, MA: Trumpeter.
2. Dronen, Sverre. Ole. (2015, September 23). Addicted to shopping? Retrieved September 30, 2019, from https://www.uib.no/en/news/91783/addicted-shopping.
3. Parker-Pope, T. (2005, December 6). This Is Your Brain at the Mall: Why Shopping Makes You Feel So Good. Retrieved September 30, 2019, from https://www.wsj.com/articles/SB113382650575214543.